there’s not enough to go around

ugh. i am sick. again. and because of this, I'm moping around at home, generally making no sense and staring at the ceiling thinking thinking thinking. For whatever reason, there hasn't been a lot of downtime lately. I feel like I've always been on the go, up to something, even if that something is sitting on my bed. I need schedule detox.

I was trying to remember tonight when I first realized that fall was my favourite season, but I can't. I'm stumped. there's something about the season that I find inherently soothing, though. It's impossible to resist the temptation to be warm and cosy as the cold starts to sneak in, in the mornings, in the frost on the windows, in the need to pack away sandals and replace them with kneesocks and boots, the hunt for mittens, the craving for hot soup, the return of scarves and peppermint tea.

Truthfully, I find something comforting in digging out my sweaters for fall, in watching the leaves pile up on the sidewalks, in tromping through them, kicking them around, listening to their dry crackles. People keep talking about flurries, about the *christmas decorations* that are starting to show up (this should be outlawed - halloween isn't over yet!) in malls, in the kowloon market, and everywhere else, and I know, I KNOW that this means fall is moving on, it's almost gone, it's running out of season. I need more fall...I'm not done with it yet.

Despite my love of fall though, and even though christmas decor before december grates on me, I can't help but sit here waiting for the first gentle snowfall, the one we get every year, where the snow leaves it's mark on everything, soft and clean and fresh. I don't love winter by any stretch of the imagination, but there's something that strikes me as so utterly romantic about that first snowfall that I can't help but sit and wait for it to happen.

Because when it does, I'm going to be out there in the dark, sitting on a swingset, twirling around getting snowflakes on my nose, and listening to the sound of snow falling.