Dear Cubase, I know...we've just met and all, but please don't think I'm being fresh. It's been a few weeks, we've exchanged small talk over coffee, we've held hands on the long walk home, you sometimes call me before you go to sleep, and best of all, you're my standard monday night date. Things must be going well.
And maybe I'm jumping the gun by telling you about all the things that bother me so early in our relationship, but my mum always told me to speak my mind. I hate the way your note editor tick-tocks incorrectly sometimes, and how you're quiet when I ask you VERY nicely to make my keyboard make noise. It makes me uncomfortable when you place notes incorrectly even though I very specifically said "whole note, F", not "half note and a rest, E#". Your misplaced rests, uncomfortable pauses, and lack of response to all my button pushing has really got to stop.
You need to stop thinking about yourself, and thinking about my fugue. Just for a little while. It's lonely. It needs orchestration, and dynamics, and multi-channel MIDI tracks.
I know we had a big fight tonight - a real blowout, something along the lines of me screaming in agony as, after we very nicely discussed it, you still did the same things wrong, over and over again.
I like you! I think you're cute! Why can't we work this out?
PS - If you don't get your s**t together for Friday, I am so tossing you out that 9th story window.
PPS - dear reader....if you know how to use Cubase, and make it sit up, and beg, and roll over when asked, I am so your new best friend.