and graciously we fall, crumbled into puddles

fall for me has always been about revisiting. about reorganizing, tidying, removing clutter. it's my favourite time of year, but also the worst. the time of year where i can feel the cold setting in, where i feel life begin to close in and quiet down and hush. the quiet of winter, the silence of snow. it's the crispness of the red and orange leaves that crunch underfoot and make you think of times when things were sprouting instead of dying, and we all grinned with pleasure at the advent of warmth, instead of the cripsness and acceleration of the chill.

i've been feeling unsettled and overwhlemed lately, as if i'm losing my grip (or is it my strangle-hold?) on the things that are important. the things i want to hold onto and hold dear feel as if they are fluttering is the crisp fall air, ready to fall delicately off of the trees, floating on the breeze until they find their wintry resting place, tucked into nooks and crannies and gutters, piled into pile upon pile meant for jumping in.

living downtown, i've been able to walk more, which is nice. it's my opportunity to feel free and unburdened by the stuff that clutters everyday life. it's great to be able to head off, throw my ipod on and listen to tunes that suit the mood. it's been too long since i started taking music for granted. the soundtrack in my head has beeen dissipating. time to refresh, renew. it's nice to have the time and space to think.

i need to start documenting the things that move me.